| (no subject) |
[Oct. 17th, 2007|07:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's | ] |
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 1st, 2007|07:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | SuperStar - Roller Girl | ] |
Okay, don't mind this entry!
Just typing down some dates for me to look back at, because I look on here more than reading through my day diary, so this way I have less of a chance forgetting.
|
|
|
| =D |
[Sep. 27th, 2007|02:41 pm] |
Ok! Update time~!
|
|
|
| &So.. |
[Sep. 22nd, 2007|08:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
Honestly; I haven't been happy at all lately..
Only a handful of people know why. I suppose, I just.. can't take it anymore?
Perhaps I need a break; &think things over. But something should be done.. I don't want to carry on feeling like this..
I've tried to hide my worries away, but I've been doing that for a while now, I guess there's so much I can take. Been trying not to think about it, keep myself busy with other things, but I guess that problem is stuck in my head.
I need time to think.
Bleehh... ;_;
|
|
|
| Ok; Here's an Update., |
[Aug. 8th, 2007|05:35 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | No 5 - Hollywood Undead | ] |
I've been talking to a certain someone, and although he's been ranting at me; I've actually taken it as advice.
I won't say who it is. *CoughsjackCoughssdfbjsbga.* But yeah. >_> Everything he's said to me, I've thought about hard. And he's completely right! Geez, it's about time I get over it. Looking back on my last entry, I realize how pathetic I am. And so after having a brief chat with him, this is what I've decided &this is what I've put on my MySpace;
So, those of you who are close to me and know me really well should know that I've been a complete mess since March. There have been times where I've had only a few ups, and plenty of downs; &I started thinking on doing some crazeh stuff. Well; now it all stops. I feel like I've wasted 6 months of my life, just dwelling over him. I've come to realize that it's just not worth it anymore. I'm not going to waste anymore time of my life. I'm going to stop being an emo shit; and be happy for what I got. I've got the greatest friends I could ever ask for. ♥ &really, thats all I need right now. I want to smile more; laugh &be happy. I'm going to stop everything thats been getting me down.
I've still got plans for the future, in which I'm not going to just throw away.
I've moved on.
I mean all of that; I have moved on. I'm over him. He's nothing more than a dear friend to me now. <3 Whereas my mind and heart is on someone else, and has been for a while, just hasn't been shown much. &really, I want to say sorry to him. I haven't been fair to him at all, sending mixed messages and such. But I know what I want, and how I'm feeling now. I'm no longer a sad girl. I'm hoping to share my new happiness; with him.
Yesterday was by far, one of the worst day's ever, right from the moment I woke up. Work just couldn't suck anymore than it did. But then I came home and had this chat, which made me realize and change things; but in a good way. And, after spending the whole day not smiling; I actually went to bed with one. Just from realizing this; I'm already happy. &I'm pretty sure it's going to last this time. The only thing emo you'll get out of me is if my hamster dies. D:
&so to all those reading this [probably you crazeh lot on msn.] I have something to say;
Firstly, a great big huuuuge thank you~! You've helped me through so much, and even though it took some time, you've eventually knocked some sense into me. If I didn't have great friends like you, I wouldn't know where I'd be right now. Love ya' all. <3
Secondly, I'm sorry for all the shit I've put you through. There have been times where I've gone completely depressed, angry, sad, etc.. on you all. &it's not fair on you guys to have to put up with it for about half a year. So, I'm sorry for that.
You remember that girl that was always happy, smiling&laughing, but then she disappered?
OH WAIT! ... I think she's back. ;3
That's right peoples; Manda's back! =D
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2007|10:14 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Please Protect My Heart - Tamia | ] |
Ohhh; wee~! And back down I go again!
Just when I thought I was finally getting myself together, after 6 months.
Something goes and drops me back down again to how I was. Who knows how long it'll take for me to recover this time.
Yesterday was pretty much one of the worst days ever. [That I've had in a while.]
First it started off with just me in a bad mood. Don't know why, but I was just generally meh. Though as usual, I'd get into work and perk up a bit. Then, whilst icing some cakes, my stoopid self goes and drops red food coloring on the floor, which splashed onto my feet. So I had red feet for the afternoon, cause it wasn't coming off. Manager didn't seem too happy about it, though it was a laugh to everyone else.
And so coming home, getting the red off my feet for ages, I was told something that just shot me straight down. Of course I tried to act as though I'm ok with it, that I'm happy for him. Heh.. guess he see's right through me. It was just strange though.. having complete deja-vu; same emotions building up.. the same feeling when I cried. I thought I was past that. Glad that I had finally stopped crying.. but then I go through it again. Only the two closest people to me know and was telling me not to go down that road again, that it took me half a year to sort myself out and that I shouldn't put myself through it again. Eh, that's why exes shouldn't really be friends, huh?
Well, as always; as long as he's happy and all that shit. That's all that matters.
I'll get over it.. again. |
|
|
| Moo? o_o |
[Jul. 18th, 2007|08:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
Well, I haven't updated my lj in a while [about a week and a bit]. Thing is, theres nothing to update. D:
Been freakin booored with everything lately. Yush, life is boring me. I feel like I'm not living it to the full. I mean its the same thing every single day. Get up, go work, do the same old routine at work, come home tired, hang around online for a bit with no motivation to do anything, and then go bed. Ugh, boorrrinng. Though around late August//early September, gonna be busy for 5 weekends. Of just partiie-ing, and going to France. And then BAM; I'll be 20. o_o
Don't wana be. Still want to be a teenager [cause I still act like one]. D:
asjfkasdgfkjd GRR! MUST send off passport and provisional by the end of this week. I'm stabbing myself for not doing it, and others are stabbing me too. Need to get them back in two weeks. I know the passport will be doubtful, but me needs my provisional! Otherwise I can't go out with ma girles. T_T
Well, to spice up my oh-so exciting life! Ima have my hair cut tomorrow. Noo idea on how I want it. I just keep picturing different styles in my head, thinking; "Oh yeaah; that'd be smexy." then my friends tell me it wouldn't look right on me. >_<! I'll post pictures of it tomorrow anyways.
There's seriously nothing else for me to say, which really sucks. Oh yeaah, my life is just THAT fun. =D
Being stuck here though, I can't even make it fun. I just can't wait to move to America!! It's gonna be the best thing EVAA~!
Get to be with those I'm really close to. And Jose said I get to swim in his pool! HAR. XD
But yeah; I have enough moneh to get a place of my own and live in it for a while. And with my qualifications, my job will be worth more THERE than it does here. So money isn't a problem. ;D
Only problem; ima get so freakin LOST! O_O
Thats what I'm scared of, lol. I'll probably get on the wrong plane or something, like I get on the wrong bus here. I'll probably end up breaking down in the middle of I don't know where, crying, wanting to go home. XD
I hope I won't get picked on over there, cause I'm British. T_T Cause you lot online already are meanies about it. Especially Jay and Jose. I swear Jose; you call me German again, ima never buying you that blue iPod. D:
Thats all for now kiddies~. |
|
|
| XD |
[Jul. 7th, 2007|10:59 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | amused | ] |
Ahh I love it when my mom explains things. Like I was just talking to her, saying that I might go Amsterdam next year, and she sooo tried to talk me out of it, but in an innocent way kinda. She was sayin how the flower gardens and shit, I wouldn't appreciate it as much as I would when I'm a bit older. And then theres me thinking; I don't care about the flower gardens, Ima just be there to partiie. My mom has been there before, so of course she knows what its all about. Har; guess she don't want her oh-so innocent daughter going. I mean come on; she lets me go to Camden town, in which the place is filled with drugs and shit, yet she don't want me going to Amsterdam? But yeah, our talk was funny. I just kept smirking, cause she knows what I'll be going there for, yet she tried not to point it out. I was tempted just to say to her; "But I wana try a Space Cake!" =D But I knew she'd slap me for that.
Another note; been talking to peoples at work on what to do for my birthday. We came up with like a 58745934 million options. The one who suggested Pontins almost got beats. I hate that place. Bad memories. >_< But yeah, no idea on what to do.
Gonna see Hostel 2 today. I ask myself.. why though? The first one sucked. D: I didn't even think they could make another one. But yeah, theres nothing else worth watchin at the Cinema. OHH~! I got all happy yesturdayyy. David and Jack might come and visit teh UK! They better! >_> I'd soo leave work just to spend time with them two, cause I know work won't let me have the time off. Har; it'd be awesomee. I'll show them all the not-so fun stuff to do around here! =D
Ugh, I wana go back to beeed. D:
Cause some dick decided to mow their fuckin lawn at 9:00am, on a Saturday morning!! Like... UGH! Woke me up; soo annoyed. >_< Working with children, you needs your sleep! D: Saturday mornings is when I recover until mid-day! And now Ima most probably be a lazy ass the whole weekend. Ima just wait, until whoever it was that woke me, goes to sleep. And then I'll get my own back somehow. >O
Mkay soo I really should tidy my room, I make it such a mess. D:
WHOOOOOSH~!
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 30th, 2007|12:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
Well everyone; I'm doin okies, I guess.
Nothing too bad has been happening. I'm just kinda abit.. lost. @_@
Don't know what to do with myself.
Wana talk about work though; in which I'm so freakin happy!
On july 9th I'll be officially in Baby room [even though all next week, I'll be in there anyways.].
But yus! I can't wait! I get to escape the hell that is; Toddlers. Its not so much the kids; its the staff. Well, just one really.
But now I've been moved to another room, in which I wanted to stay in when I started working there. Me ish happy for that!
Also; another thing that got me happy yesterday. We have 4 people who are the designated person in charge.
And, ooo guess who's number 4?
HAR!
Thats right; meee~!
Oh wow, can you imagine me being in charge of that place?
Lol; I'd get it shut down.
I'd partiie! Moosic; order take-out. Screw the rules. XD
Har; would be funny.
But erm yeah, thats work! Fun stuff.
Other stuff going on; ehhh I dunnooo. Thats whats making me feel lost, with the amount of stuff going around. I've got decisions to make in which I don't know if I should make them. OR if I make it, ima regret it later or something. Meeh, me dunno.
Well last night I wasn't online cause I was out disrupting the neighbourhood; in which I haven't done in quite some time actually. >_>
And tonight I might not be cause I'm going TGI Fridays; which means one thing - cocktails!
Mmm; oh yesh. Yummeh stuff.
And well tomorrow; Ima be lazy. So yeah.. o_o
I just managed to catch up with my rps! w00t! Took me a fricken week. I always catch up on the weekends though.
Soo yeah; now I'm bored. D:
&hungry! =O ima eat.
Umm soo thats all there is to update really. o_o
Intersting, yesh? not.
Har. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2007|09:03 pm] |
o_o WELL.
This weeks been somewhat interesting. O_o
Had a bit of everything; random moments, sad and bleh moments, and some really good moments.
I dunno where to begin! Lets start with random;
Its poppin. o_o
Enough said. XD Har.
A couple of hours ago I was really bleh, and yus me cried. But oh well, I'm over it now.
Had a talk with someone who knocked sme senses into me. Might need him to do it a couple more times though.
But yeah; been thinkin and I'm okies now.
Whoosh~!
I'm feeling kinda random now actually. o_o
Oooooo, just lookin at the mirror, I just realized how smexy my hair looks from behind. ;D
And I'm gettin it cut for free! [well sort of ;3] Har, I'm persuasive.
LOL! Oh wow, I just noticed the bottled water I've been drinking is actually French. o___o;
Eau Minerale Naturelle! XD
Oh speaking of French, theres some French kid at work, and I'm trying to teach him the only French I know. The thing that I've been saying to him today is; Je mange petite-pois! [or something like that].
Which means; I eat peas... I think. O_o
Work is goin really good by the way. Not meant to say this yet at work, though most people know;
I'm moving rooms on July 9. w00t! In a way I can't wait, yet I'll miss ma Toddlers; [aka; the lil shits D:].
I think ima just give up rping. o_o
I wana do it still, just its not the same as before really. So it kinda sucks, D:
Err thats it for now. o_o
WHOOOOOSH~! |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
holy_aeris's journal